Week 2 - The results

Weight: 96.6 kilos

(WARNING: Do not read if you are offended by the words ‘Constipated’, ‘Poo’, ‘Wind’ or words that relate to them)

I feel totally deflated. On top of the pain of my bloated stomach, I feel like someone has punched me in the gut. How could I have put on a kilo when I have been working so hard? It makes just no sense to me. The cruel hand of fate I mentioned last week certainly has had the last laugh, it is just so unfair. I worked my ass off, sticking to the program, constantly tweaking my diet with my nutritionist friend and to what end? A bloated stomach, a definite lack off pooing for 2 days and a weight gain of a kilo!

I tried to be happy for my sister’s weight loss, and I am happy for her, but as soon as I got on the scales all I could think about was the weight gain and how I was going to have to publish it on my ‘bloody blog’. My parents tried to say words of advice, “maybe you ate something wrong...” but I would not hear it. I had truly worked hard at this. You know when you have cheated, and I am sorry, but the small sized portion of desert I ate on Friday night which I had previously agreed with my nutritionist does not count as cheating!

Anyway, I had to shake it off because we had a run to do and Sunday is generally our toughest day. It is the day we take it up a notch and today we were upping our jogging time in our walk/jog routine of 30 minutes from 2 minutes to 3 minutes. On Saturday night we just completed the 2 minute routine with only slightly more ease than the day before, so we were both nervous about going up to 3 minutes. We made an agreement that we would give it our best shot for the first repetition and then if it became too hard we would reduce the time back to 2 or 2.5 minutes.

As we warmed up my sister gave me a pep talk to get me to shake off the blues of my weight gain.

DALYA: You know it could be muscle growth
ME: I know
DALYA: And you are bloated
ME: I am
DALYA: Come on Channah you know you are working at this. So what you had a set back are you just going to quit?
ME: HELL NO!!
DALYA: DAMN RIGHT!

And so with a fighting attitude we started our routine with the 5 minute walk, which we did faster than before, and moved into the first 3 minute run. I am not going to say that it was easy, because for sure it was not, but we ran together and our determination got us through the first rep. Into the second rep we maintained the fast pace of our first walk and then again completed the 3 minute run. We were pumped full of tenacity. Two more reps to go and we would be done. We could do this!

Into the third rep I knew I was tired and I knew that Dalya was tired, but we were determined. We were going to do this. But 2 minutes into the run my legs would not move any further. I felt like someone was stabbing my buttocks and despite my attempt to cry through the pain I simply could not go on. As we slowed down to a walk I did not feel defeat, I did not feel deflated as I did when I saw my weight on the scales. I felt angry. You know when a child has a screaming fit when they cannot have the toy they wanted. Imagine that child crying, wailing and sobbing. That was me. I carried on walking just as fast as the first walk, only I was holding my hips and crying like a baby.

Dalya turned to me and tried to comfort me, but I could not be touched. I was so embarrassed and yet I could not stop the tears. We carried on walking out the third rep and then made a final attempt to run the final rep. Again we only managed 2 minutes.

As we walked the cool down home I could not speak. I was so damn angry. The truth was I did not feel so tired. I could have run more, but my legs... my legs could not carry on and so I had to give in. I took deep breaths to try and quell the rage boiling inside me, but when I exhaled all I got was more tears.

DALYA: Talk to me
ME: I can’t

Dalya grabbed my hand and made me stop in the middle of the street and then my sister eight years my junior hugged me. It was a long hug and for a moment I forgot that we were stood on a main road with other walkers, joggers and cars passing by us wondering why two girls were hugging each other in running clothes.

DALYA: Why are you crying?
ME: Because it was bad enough that I put on weight, but you know this was never about the weight it was about doing this. And we could not even complete the 3 minute run.

DALYA: But we knew this before we started. We didn’t even think we would be able to do the first rep and we managed to do half the whole routine! And Channah you know that this time you walked faster that you ever did any of the times before and you kept a decent pace throughout all the jogs. I never had to slow down for you this time. You worked so hard this time and even if you are not proud of your workout today I am! I am proud of my workout today too!
ME: I know Dalya, but you don’t have to write about your failures in a blog.

DALYA: What failures? And who are you afraid of failing in front of? Your friends? This is not about your friends or our family being proud of you! That is not why you did this. Is it?
ME: No

DALYA: You did this for people who like you, never thought they would be able to do something like this. You did this to prove that if you can, then anyone can… Channah that is inspirational! You inspired me. I would not be doing this if it was not for you! We are all working at our goals because of you and you should feel good about that instead of feeling all this unnecessary pressure.
ME: I guess
DALYA: You guess?

I turned to her and smiled

ME: I guess if I can do it then really anyone can. But not everyone has you doing it with them Dalya.

To my darling sister Dalya: You are my inspiration! I don't know if I could do this if I did not have you by my side! If anyone in the Raánana area is looking for a personal trainer this girl will be fully trained in roughly a years time… at least she will be after having to deal with me!