What’s a girl to do?

Before the 5k run I had somewhat of a breakdown. “Another one?” you may say, and I guess that would be fair enough… anyway moving on, I broke down, filled with doubt, filled with self-loathing and for the first time I felt like slapping myself around the face a few times before wrapping myself in bubble wrap and giving up. But I did not want to give up, so instead I took to verbally abusing myself, drill sergeant style. Yes Sir!

Some said I was being too hard on myself, and yes I guess it would have appeared to be so, but I could not shake the feeling in my head that if I truly was being 'so hard on myself' that I would look anorexic by now and would be running 5k no problem… or perhaps collapsing 1k into the 5k run because I am anorexic… I could ponder this matter for hours. However, as it stands I have been training for 4 months now (not including stoppage time due to injuries) and lost a total of 5 kilos on a good day and 3 kilos on a bloated day.

I wish I could say that I see a drastic difference in my body, but although I definitely feel a difference in my legs and arms, my middle section seems as big as ever and my jeans sit the same… In fact as my legs and arms have shrunk I feel like I am beginning to look not too dissimilar from Violet Beauregarde when she turns into a blueberry. And with how bloated I have been feeling lately a good juicing might actually do me good! Ok perhaps more like an Umpa Lumpa then!

You may think me vain, but this is not vanity talking. This is a need to be able to get up that hill without my legs cursing me with every step because I am carrying to heavy a load on top of them. At the beginning I kept telling myself, “The more you persist, the more weight you will lose and the easier it will become.” But 4 months on it I see little change in ease or weight. Am I really being too hard on myself?

After breaking down to my sister we discovered 2 things.

1. We do not stretch enough
2. 30 to 40 minutes of running 5 times a week may not be enough

Bearing this in mind we approached our next run with a serious stretching session beforehand. Fifteen minutes of stretching followed by ten minutes walking and then a little final stretch before running, and the result? The result was a big improvement! And I finished the run with far more energy than I had prior to the 3k run. Success!

But a week on and the weight has stayed exactly the same.

(sigh)

So what am I to do? Maybe just running is not enough. I guess if I really want to change my life I have to see this all for what it is… A life change. So what if I spend more of my life in my trainers than in heals! I haven’t really worn heals for years anyway. So what if I see my trainer and running buddies more than my friends. I can get new friends! Or my current friends can jump on the train and join me! Either way I cannot cope with another 4 months of the same. We have 9 months until we aim to run the full marathon and there is no way I am going to be the same weight now for that! “Hello Heart Attack!!!!”

In order to get my head around my new time schedule I wrote a list of things I have to do every week and how often I need to do them in order to be working towards my goal.

To Do

1. Sit ups every morning (as many as you can building up weekly)
2. Scheduled Run (5 times a week)
3. Personal Training Session including weight training (Once a week – I have 6 sessions left)
4. Yoga – (Once a week – for spiritual relaxation, stretching and toning the body)
5. Contact Nutrition friend for an emergency powwow and solve this mystery
6. Contact Mentor and see if maybe I am ready to trail behind her running
7. Find the joy in running again!! Might require fixing Ipod.

So far I have done sit ups every other morning (since Sunday), and contacted my Nutritionist friend and Mentor, but have as yet to book a day to run together… So much to do!!!

Making Plans

So I had done my research, asked all the right people and now I had to put it all together into a training programme. The only problem is every website I got to when I Googled ‘Marathon Training’, ‘Marathon Training for beginners’ or ‘How to start running’, I found that the average training schedule was aimed at someone a lot further down the fitness road than me. In the words of one website, “It takes on approximately 26 weeks to train for a marathon. It can take longer depending on fitness level.” 26 weeks? 26 weeks! Talk about over-estimating my discipline and under-estimating how out of shape I have become. There is no way I am at that level. I cannot even run!

I needed a training schedule that would start me at the very beginning… walking. So I searched and searched and searched and after thinking perhaps this was so crazy a challenge that not even the internet could help me, I came across a site called Running Planet. Finally a website that acknowledged that people who want to learn to run, by and large have not run before.

On the contrary this site embraced those like me and I found the “8 week Program for Beginning Runners.” The Learn To Run program aims to take you from walking 30 minutes a day to running 2 miles. Just think in 8 weeks I could be running 2 miles! Ok so it is not quite the 26 miles I am aiming for, but before you run you have to learn how to walk/jog. I had found my schedule and so on Friday afternoon Dalya and I sat down and made a calendar for the next two months. We are going to be walk/jogging for 5 days a week for 7 weeks until the last week when we will be running the full 30 minutes. The thought that I could get there so quick makes me nervous, scared and the fear factor is a constant on my mind, but I have made a commitment. I have told enough people that I cannot back out and there is this blog and then there is my PR friend who is getting me to write letters to magazines, charity organisations and even Oprah. No this is one thing I cannot back out of

So instead of thinking of a way out I am instead doing as I am told. I am simply following the program. I am doing no more and no less than is required of me and in that way I am learning discipline and, of course, how to run. Training starts on Sunday… wish me luck!